Creative Risks and Commissions.
Earlier in the year I was working through “Beginning Drawing Atelier: An Instructional Sketchbook” by Juliette Aristides and discovered that I have a passion for drawing cats. I have never considered myself as having any drawing skill at all. At school, 6th form college and evening classes the teachers and tutors were highly critical of my ability and this became a self-fulfilling prophecy, a negative feedback loop because I believed them. That is, until I realised that I was seriously undermining and limiting myself because of hurtful comments I’d received a very, very long time ago.
I bought Aristides’ book to see if I could learn to draw, although it turned out to be more a case of learning to see. In the book there are two drawings of cats to copy and this is where the first bit of magic happened. When I drew the cats I felt such peace and love and connection. I remembered my own, beautiful cat Lia, the bond and love we shared and how she enriched my life and I felt all of that pour into the drawings of those two, unknown cats. It was a fabulous feeling and I dared to ask myself, “Could I draw another cat?”. So I tried and did and felt the same feelings. “Was that a one-off?” I thought, so I drew another. It wasn’t a one-off, I experienced the same bliss so I drew another and the same thing happened but this time, while I was drawing, those criticisms from decades ago stopped their insistent nagging in my head.
A true and trusted friend asked to see my drawings and when I showed her she said, “I’ll have to ask you to draw my cat!”. I thought she was joking and quickly changed the subject. This was not a development I wanted. In the past calligraphy and design commissions had always been a mental torture due to those early criticisms reminding me repeatedly that I was no good at all.
A few weeks later, after a few more blissful sessions drawing cats, I plucked up the courage to ask my friend if I could draw her alert and energetic, young cat. She graciously agreed and the second bit of magic unfolded. The blissful feelings of love, peace and connection actually increased! They grew like bread dough rises, soft and pillowy, warm and comforting because I was drawing for somebody else who felt the same love connection with her cat as I do with mine. My friend’s reaction to the finished, framed drawing was very moving and emotional and our friendship has become even stronger. This is what I’ve always wanted to do with my art; to spread happiness, connect and share love.
Warm wishes,
Laura
A wonderfully grumpy Persian cat.
(This isn’t my friend’s cat, in case you were wondering!)